Disguise

A year has come and gone..

Sunday, June 04, 2006 // 11:02 PM

Yesterday was graduation for the class of 2006. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! It was a time of rejoicing and happiness in reflecting on the past thirteen years of accomplishments, friendships, heartaches, and headaches. Not only were the seniors (or newly graduated alumni) reflecting, but I was reflecting as well. It was strange to see the kids that I had lead ahead one year graduate right before my eyes. I was sent back to this time last year when we were just out of high school and beginning our transition into what we are now. I was happy, sad, scared, and confused. I really thought I wanted to leave, that is until it was halfway through the graduation ceremony. I was right in the midst of my Valedictorian speech when it really hit hard. This was it. I was giving my thoughts on what I had learned over these years and really no one was paying attention. Oh sure, everyone tries to spice it up with some humor or thoughtful quotes, but it just felt like I was standing there for no reason whatsoever... just to merely look like I did all through high school, smart. Now we jump forward into the very beginning of freshman year. I didn't like... not one bit. Actually, I think I hated it. I just wanted to go back to last year and live it all over again. Of course, even when I think about it now I get sort of choked up. However, I have come to actually enjoy these college years. I find them refreshing, invigorating, and overall...... retarded. I'm taking ridiculous classes,... and for what? These ones aren't the ones that are going to help me! They are merely the ones that are going to try my patience, eat my money, and overall become a thorn in my side. I believe that was the slogan for University 101... "oh these thorns in my side... oh these thorns in my side..." That's what I repeated to myself every Tuesday at 2:30. So again, watching the graduation made me realize that I don't want to grow up.... I want to be in high school... a freshman, starting over.... being young and not worrying about my future or what jobs I can do and can't, what classes I have to take, gas prices, pregnancy, drinking, exams, loans, scholarships, late nights, fights, and the constant battle with health. Those are just my thoughts at the moment. Okay, now, today I went to Fairmont to meet up with this guy named Tim. He was really really tall.... and really really big. Like, not fat, just big. I hate to say it, but I really just don't think that it will work. I mean, we just didn't really match personality wise. I can know instantly if something will work... and believe me, that won't. Plus, he doesn't even know me. I hate being set up by people who really don't know me. It drives me crazy! I mean, why me???? Why did you have to go and mention me? How can I turn generosity by some friends who think they know what is best for me and are only trying to help? I can't!!! So I go along with the whole charade and put on a smile through all the nudging, winking, nodding, and probing. I felt like an experiment...."Will she bite the bait?" The answer: No. I'm not into him and that's final. He was nice enough, family was really friendly, and I could be "friends" with him, but not boyfriend. It just won't work. Then they try to put the blame game on me when they ask me what I thought. Of course I don't want to sound unappreciative so I say that he was nice. Then they say, how nice? I'm like... well, nice enough I guess. WRONG ANSWER. For future reference, speak your mind. Here is the real kicker: "So you want to go to the movies with him?" I'm speechless. "uhhhhh, I have to get to know him first, that is just how I roll..." THAT'S HOW I ROLL?!?!?!?!? Where do I come up with this stuff??? "Well, the only way you are going to get to know him is by hanging out one on one with him?" How do I deny that? It's true.... but I DON'T WANT TO. End o' story. However, it looks like I will be seeing him sometime because not only does he have my screen name, but my phone number. Oh and the people who set me up have my screen name too so now they are going to badger me until I choose. Yea or Nay? DAG YO, How do I get myself mixed up in this? Now I think I'm just going to vent some more. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH^()%*$^_(&)+&^%$*$*@%^)_)*+(*~!!!!!
....... that's better...... sorry. Alright, I'm done for now. Goodnight everybody. I love you!