Disguise

do you know what I hate???

Monday, October 23, 2006 // 8:34 AM

I ....................

HATE.................

SCHOOL.

I'm sorry

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 // 9:22 AM

I'm sorry that I never have time to write.
I'm sorry that I'm doing so poorly in school.
I'm sorry that I eat to avoid thinking or doing anything else productive.
I'm sorry that I have lost friends.
I'm sorry that I can't focus.
I'm sorry that I waste money all the time.
I'm sorry that I can't just be happy with what I've got.
I'm sorry that I always want more.
I'm sorry that I am alone.
I'm sorry that I want companionship.
I'm sorry that I want a fairy tale.
I'm sorry that I can't have it.
I'm sorry that I want the world to be happy.
I'm sorry that it can't.
I'm sorry that life sucks... a lot.
I'm sorry that I have a rash.
I'm sorry that it won't go away for another 2 weeks.
I'm sorry that I'm messy.
I'm sorry that I cry a lot.
I'm sorry that I want to scream.
I'm sorry that I can't.
I'm sorry that I live like I do.
I'm sorry that others can't live like I do.
I'm sorry.............

In the rough

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 // 7:01 PM

Do you ever feel like you are just working so hard and for no personal gain whatsoever? That is precisely my dilemma at the moment. I study and work so hard to be a good student and I get absolutely nothing out of it. I do worse on tests! I just don't get it, really I don't. Maybe I need to just get away. You know? Just like, start over. I can't. That's just it.

I have just noticed that I am writing like Hemmingway. Simple sentences that have simple meanings. Annoying?? yes.

I always despised the beginnings of his books. They took forever to just get to the point. What he ended up saying could have been written in 50 pages or less. Okay okay maybeee 100 pages. Considering I believe The Sun Also Rises was roughly 250? I can't remember. That was Junior year for pete's sake.

I'm drinking coffee... again. It doesn't really help me stay awake and I tend to get more exhausted because my heart beats soooo fast from the caffeine (spelling errors are the only thing I'm good at). That maybe right though?

I'm listening to Aqualung right now. It's pretty good.

I never understood before.
I never knew what love was for.
My heart was broke, my head was sore.
What a feeling.
Tied up in ancient history.
I didn't believe in destiny.
I look up you're standing next to me.
What a feeling.

What a feeling in my soul.
Love burns brighter than sunshine.
Brighter than sunshine.
Let the rain fall, I don't care.
I'm yours, and suddenly you're mine.
And suddenly you're mine.
And it's brighter than sunshine.

Time for some Anatomy studying ;) if ya know what I mean... yeah, you get it. I have another FFFFF coming my way.

It's just another manic monday. woahhh ooowoahhhh

Monday, October 09, 2006 // 9:34 AM

I'm really hoping that I didn't have a lab report to write. I mean, she didn't send anything nor did she say anything about it. All we did was prepare our next experiment of Sardoria fungus or something of that sort. I don't really have much time to write anything really good because I have class in approximately half an hour and I still have to do my hair and make up and put on clothes. That's right, I'm sitting here in a towel. I like it like that. So SUE me. I'm also listening to English christmas music because it reminds me of fall and the warm feeling I get around this time of year. It's when I know I need to start christmas shopping and stuff but just can't muster up the gusto to just got out and do it. I usually go around Thanksgiving or so. I need an earlier start this year though. More people to buy for ;). It makes me happy to see someone's face when they open up a present. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment or something. I'm a softy lol. Welp, I'm out. PEACE.

Weekends are for warriors

Friday, October 06, 2006 // 3:59 PM

I'm soooo glad it is finally Friday. I don't have to worry about another test until about 5 minutes from now. I have two more next week.. grrrrr, biology and anatom. Those classes are so difficult for some reason. I'm usually really good that kind of stuff but this year I'm suckin it right up.

My ink came today, which is awesome. The color one was gone this morning and the black is holding on for dear life. I haven't had new ink cartriges in sooo long. I think like last year during school or something. Not important.

Tonight is the night.

I am thinking about either going to see Jackass 2 or calling up Todd to see if he wants to do anything. No he is not a boyfriend, but merely a friend that will more than likely end up in heartbreak anyway. I'm not worried. I really don't care anymore. I'm like a statue.

Just call me Stonewall.

Maybe more like a duck?? Ducks let water slide off their backs and I am sort of the same way, only not with water. With emotions. I do not... i repeat.. DO NOT... care. Miffed? no.

Why so many spaces???

No clue, but I like it that way. Seems to spread apart my thinking process, which is rather random and odd in itself.

I rode the prt to towers this afternoon with Clay and realized that I did in fact DRIVE my car this morning and had to walk all the way to Medical just to pick it up. Oh bother. I wanted to strangle myself for not thinking more clearly in the first place.

Alright alright, enough blogging, you take up too much of my time anyway!

....... no I'm not done.

I took a Kinesiology exam this morning. Thought I was going to fail and then found out that it was much easier than I thought it was going to be.

Note to self: just pull all-nighters every night and I will be a genius.

Now. I'm done.

Stress... my new lover.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006 // 3:42 PM

Sitting at the Daily Grind today, I noticed something. I have like 3 tests in less than one weeks time. That is absolutely ridiculous. Not to mention then that following week, I have two more. AM I EVER GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS!!!!

Never.

Today during Chemistry I about fell asleep because I simply cannot focus my thoughts on something for 50 minutes. It's bad. I really think I have ADD or something. I CANNOT, I repeat, CANNOT focus.

Last night I actually did some homework though. Physics = grrrr. I hate the homwork. Especially on weeks of exams because then I have other stuff that I really need to be studying for. Not, that.

Now I'm listening to music and trying to just chill out before I got to church tonight. I feel like I'm forgetting to do something. Like, I was supposed to do something but I really can't remember what it is. I hate it when I do that.

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

More later, I swear it!

&& again.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006 // 7:05 PM

Brooke Hogan... come on. I give her props for actually trying to pursue something that she wants.

HOWEVER

Doesn't anybody else realize that it's just "all in the family"? If it weren't for her dad, then she would probably not have made it. I mean, she may have in fact "made it" but the odds are, they would have chosen another making the band group than a blonde, 6' tall blonde with a balding dad who wears a bandana EVERY day.

I love coffee more than I love food.

Seriously though, I could drink several cups of coffee a day and not get fat. I would probably have a heart attack, but at least I would be skinnier than I am now. I'm not saying that I'm unhappy with my appearance... buttttt......

I'm unhappy with my weight.

I am, I'm not going to lie about it. Why would I want to lie about something like that? I'm still happy that I am me, but I just with I were a smaller version of me.

Why do celebrities act like children??? Seriously... why do they??? They through these HUGE tantrums and then make up excuses for their behavior or just pay someone to keep their mouth shut. I hate how they abuse their priviledges or are ungrateful for what they have. That is wrong. People would kill to be in their position. Actually, they would probably do a better job at it too. That's just my opinion though.

studystudystudystudystudystudystudy

Pure life.

// 3:21 PM

The title just happens to be from the bottle of half drank water sitting in front of me. I don't post often because, frankly, I don't have time. You want to know what the 5 loves of my life are right now? Here goes, don't you go dyin on my kay?
1) Physics
2) Biology
3) Kinesiology
4) Chemistry
5) Anatomy

Yes, those are what I love... NOT!#%#$%@#$!%&^& I hate this very much. I don't know why that just turned into a url... I really don't. So don't click on it, cause I don't know what it is.... it won't let you click. so there. I made pasta tonight. It was good. Kind of "al dente" but deeeeelicious nevertheless. Well, down to physics homework so I'm not getting rapped in the bum bum anymore. thankskaybye.